


Gone Are the Songs of Yesterday

by WitchingWilds



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Chaptered, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Writing Prompt Wednesday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 18:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchingWilds/pseuds/WitchingWilds
Summary: A work of fiction set in the world of Thedas. Inspired by the games and Lore of Dragon AgeThis piece started as a  DAU contest writing prompt -Hawke's love interest's reaction to Varric's letter if Hawke is left in the fade.And has evolved to add at least one more chapter.





	Gone Are the Songs of Yesterday

The Boeric ocean lay north of both Rivain and the Free Marches. No matter how often Isabela tried to escape through vast amounts of sea, it seemed the waters always carried her back. For one job or another. Chasing coin. Whilst usually being chased. Such is the life of a pirate. _A beautifully sculpted admiral pirate_ , she smirked. Tilting her head up to glance at the land still only a blur in the distance. The large hat she adorned shielded her eyes from the worst of the glaring sun as the briny sea air flavored her plump lips.

Her new crew often attempted, unsuccessfully, to hide their temptation. Their desire. Oh, the lengths they'd have gone to to see their admiral's dark skin freed from it's minimal clothing. Her long, coal colored sea swept hair sprawled loose down her back. And she knew. She knew all too well how they longed for her. As she longed for only one man. A man now well out of her reach. Seeing the distant shoreline brought the memory of his touch fresh to her mind and she could hear Garrett Hawke's velvety admissions of love in her ear. The promises he made before they'd gone their separate ways on that very shoreline years before.

* * *

 

They had traveled North for months on foot after they'd fled Kirkwall together. Trying to draw the Seekers away from what they'd both come to know as home. Varric had already (purposely) been captured and the rest of their misfit band split up. The ones that had survived anyways. Their feet stung and hunger tightened their bellies but still the two lovers had pushed on. Through the Free Marches. Up toward Antiva and then- when the Seekers caught up with them in the large trade nation- into what some knew as the Arlathan forest. From there, Isabela followed the smell of the ocean and led her man to what she hoped would be their freedom.

She and Hawke spent several more days in a cramped cave just off of the beach whilst they waited on her contact to come through with a ship. It was unconventional and far from luxurious, but those were some of Bela's favorite memories. Hawke's smile lit up by campfire. His heartbeat in her ear as she drifted off to sleep on his chest. During those days, there was no Champion of Kirkwall or Thieving Pirate Queen. It was just Garrett and Isabela. Basking in the love they'd both tried so hard to fight against at first. And then the ship had come.

She had sent word to an old contact of hers. Simply reminding him of a debt he'd owed and suggesting it be paid with interest in the form of a ship and crew sent to the Boeric ocean, west of Rivain. The contact was smart enough to oblige. Isabela had spent the night before it's arrival on top of her lover. Riding him into all kinds of highs and both were still nude on the beach when the ship's mast came into view against the rising sun. She took her time but had been dressed by the time it had cast it's anchor down for them to board. Izzy smiled and looked to her lover. Freedom awaited, but she knew it wasn't going to go as planned. It was evident in his light brown eyes the instant they moved from the ship to Bela, but Hawke's refusal to come with her had hurt more than our pirate queen would ever admit.

" **I can't leave** ", he told her and Isabela knew it to be true. She'd really known all along. Running away was _her_ speciality. Garrett Hawke's was saving everyone else's arse. He'd lost his entire family in under a decade. All he had had left was Bela and their friends. He had made sure she'd gotten out safe first. Of course he'd go back for the others. Still, she smiled her best flirtatious smile and kissed him slowly on the lips. " **I suppose I brought this on myself** ", She sighed as she pulled away and Hawke grabbed her hand. " **What do you mean?** ", and Bel chuckled. " **When your mother died, it was I that came and reminded you that you still had people worth caring for. I'd been a fool to think you'd actually leave them behind for me** ". Hawke shook his head and pulled her close once more. " **I'm not choosing them over you. I will see you again, but now that I know you're safe, I have to make sure they are as well** ". She swallowed hard and nodded. Hugging him tightly. " **Of course, dear Hawke. I'll let you below my deck anytime** ". She expected him to share in a chuckle with her, but instead he planted a kiss to her ear. " **I really do love you, you know?** ", he whispered before pulling away. " **Go on now. Show them how a true captain runs her ship".**

He smiled and Isabela left. Speechless and confused. It was the last time she'd ever seen Hawke. Though they'd written back and forth. Since the hole in the sky had appeared, she'd heard less and less from him. Hawke was off to save lives. Joining the inquisition. His annoyingly endearing need to help other people once again getting in their way. He promised he'd write and after the sky was healed, he promised they'd be together again. And yet weeks had gone by with no word from her lover.

* * *

 

Just as she was cursing his name and the shoreline was fading to obsoletion, a crow cawed above. Flying from the southwest. Isabela's heart dared to flutter with hope. _Hawke_. Only it wasn't. Only it never would be again.

_Rivaini,_

_I think it's best to skip formalities here. I know you probably weren't expecting to see a letter written in my hand for quite some time, but things have..._

There were water stains on the parchment and the ink was blotched in places. Izzy's heart was sinking from the truth before she even read it in Varric's words.

_..things have gotten pretty heavy around here. Hawke..he told me that you two still kept in touch, but I don't know how much he's said lately..._

" **Nothing, Varric. He's said nothing. Get on with it** ", she mumbled. Her hands gripping the letter more tightly than she intended.

_....the world is going to shit. Turns out, that hole in the sky? I'm sure you've seen it from your ship. Turns out its all thanks to one familiar bad guy. Remember Corypheus? The dark spawn we defeated that was locked up by the wardens? He wasn't as dead as we thought and when Hawke found that out...Well, you know how he gets. Put the blame all on himself. Damnit, Isabela. He's gone. Hawke's lost in the fade. Likely dead._

There was more. Explanations and condolences, but she couldn't read them. Hawke. Her Hawke. Dead? He had told her once that he didnt think she was afraid of being hurt. Just of hurting someone else. It was true. She hasn't believed it then, but it was damn true. There were no happy endings for men that loved Isabela.

The letter had crumbled in her shaking hands and she let it go. Watching numbly as it drifted into the water. Varric's words bleeding from the parchment as it sank just beneath the water's surface. At first there was nothing. A numb throb in her heart as her mind repeated those words again and again. Gone. Lost. " **Dead** ", she sobbed. Sinking to her knees as the grief hit her all at once. Raking her body and her soul. Her chest tightened so badly she lost her ability to breathe. Isabela lay on the deck. Sobbing loudly. Grief stricken screams pierced the empty air and echoed on the water.

Her crew appeared. Weapons drawn. Readying for a fight. Instead, they found a shell of their admiral. Normally she'd have been appalled for them to see her in such disarray. Not when men were always so eager to form a mutiny against a woman ranking higher than them. In that moment, it didn't matter however. In that moment she could only feel the pain. A pain in which she had never felt. She had been shot, knifed, beat up, thrown around, blown up and had even had her heartbroken. Once by her mother, once more when she left her first love, but this? It was indescribable. Of all the hardships Isabela had endured, nothing topped having her future ripped away from her and not being able to do a damn thing about it. _He_ was ripped away from her. All for his bloody hero complex.

Minutes passed, though they felt like hours, before Isabela moved. She glared at her confused crew. Standing about, unsure of how to help. " **Don't you lot have work to do? Change course. We're making haste to Ferelden. I've an Inquisitor I need to see** ". She rose from her spot on the deck and stalked toward her cabin. " **But...Miss..Serah..Admiral...that's where that bleeding hole is. We'll be heading straight back to the fight** ". She didn't bother turning to see who had spoken up. " **Come now, dear. Do you really think now is the time to finally start using your brain? I hired you to manage my ship. Do so** ". Izzy entered the cabin and almost smirked as the crew hooted with laughter at their mate's expense. With a louder-than-intended slam of the cabin door, the room enveloped her in darkness.

There was no need to bother with the candle. Her bottle of confiscated Tenvinter wine was easy enough to grab before she plopped on her cot and drank greedily. It would be days before she would sober up and even longer before she would send Varric her reply.

 _Don't give up on him. It's Hawke, afterall. Just...dont die in the meantime. You're all I've got left_. 

 


End file.
